Got Your Back

by kev_bot

buzzbooks217 @



Okay. We’re going to conference.

Dark. That’s the consulate at 9:30 on a Tuesday night. Dark and lonely. The wind blows up here constantly, mirroring the hollows in a man’s heart.

C’mon, Fraser, he thinks to himself. Pick up the phone. Do it. There’s that familiar ache, the one that haunts his soul every moment of every day. Ray, Ray, where is Ray, where is my Ray K. today?

He places his hand on the phone once again. One phone call. He knows that’s all it would take to send Kowalski running. All the way back here to finish that kiss. Oh, but thinking of that was hard. The way he, Fraser, had acted. Surprised. Indignant. Proper.

And a little confused? Kissing Ray, sure, yeah, but is it the right Ray? Kissing and missing and what did it all mean?

Hand on the phone. Okay, I’ll call. One. Two. Thr...

Just then, the phone rings. Ray! It has to be


“The one and only, Benny.”

“Um?” Okay, it’s Ray, and that’s good, that’s right, but that’s not the right Ray. Or is it...?


“Hey Ray, what do you say?”

“What’s with the verse?”

“Nothing. You know, I was just waiting for a...” Beep. Oh shit.

“Phone call?”

“Hey Ray, the other line’s ringing...” And before Ray can answer, Fraser clicks out. Clicks in.

“Fraser?” Oh shit.


“The one and only.” Wait a minute...

“Hey, Ray, I have someone on the other line.”

“Fraser, things are really hinky with us. It’s real important that I talk to you.”


“You know what about. The kiss. Every second of every hour since then I’ve...”

“Just ... okay, just one second...” Click.


“The one and...”

“Okay, stop saying that. I have a really important call on the other line, and...”

“Oh, let me take three guesses as to who that might be. And the first two don’t count, right?”

“Ray, don’t be like that.”

“How should I be? Benny, every second of every hour since I left I’ve been thinking of you. Every time my heart beats, it sounds like your name. Ben-ny, Ben-ny...”

“That’s a little creepy, Ray.”

“Yeah, it sounded better in my head.”

“What about Stella?” Stella! Ray K.! Oh SHIT!

“I’ll level with you, Benny, Stella’s a great girl...” Click. He won’t know.


“Yeah, like I was telling you, Stella...” Okay, click.


“Fraser, it’s just that I think I might be falling in love with you. Now, I’ve never felt this way about a guy before, but, really...”


“Maybe it’s the whole Canadian thing. I don’t know. Because I’m not Canadian, eh. My accent might fool you, but really....”


“I’m not gay, either. Just in love with you.”


“So, okay, I’m in love with a Canadian Mountie. What does that even mean...?” Click.

“...but she wants sex all the time, and Benny, I’m not gay, but it was always much better with you. You know?”

Okay. We’re going to conference.

Click. Click. Clickclick.

“ Stella...”

“...not gay...”

“ all the time...”

“...not Canadian...”

“I knew you two would get along.” And, we’re hanging up.

Boy, it’s awful quiet here in the consulate tonight. Love that wind.


Diary of a Semi-Reluctant Slasher