1) Billy misses Joe the way he misses drinking a bottle of Jack in the back of a tour bus: he knows when he wakes up in the morning that it's not something he ever wants to do again, but at night, alone, god, he misses it.
2) Billy lies awake at night and thinks about all the other nights he lay awake staring at one shitty, falling-down ceiling or another, with Joe a heavy weight beside him on the mattress, snoring and smelling like booze, his arm slung over Billy's chest and holding on tight.
3) Joe could throw a punch like no one Billy has ever met. Bam, out of nowhere, and then they'd be at it, rolling around on the floor and beating the crap out of each other, and nine times out of ten, they'd end up slumped against the wall, shoulders pressed together, sharing a cigarette or a bottle or both, like neither of them could even remember what started it, or care if they could.
4) When he gets back to LA, Billy has a message on his machine from Joe. He doesn’t know when Joe left it, only that he's talking in that careful way he does when he's drunk and doesn't want Billy to know it. He calls Billy a fucker and tells him he needs to get his goddamn act together, and he hangs up abruptly mid-sentence. Billy listens to the long hum of the dial tone at the end, then pops the tape out of the machine and puts it in a drawer.
5) Billy is never going to have anyone, any-fucking-one, who is going to have his back on stage the way Joe did. They were never so good as when they were on stage together, and that was the thing - no matter how fucked up things got, no matter what fucking issues were going on, on stage, they were connected in a way that Billy had never found anywhere else in his life.
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