Roy Orbison In Clingfilm


It was a cold morning in Vancouver in the early 80's when I brought my terrapin Jetta to the local computer workshop. No one was there as of yet, but when I sat down at one of the terminals and put Jetta on the top of the monitor, a very familiar figure stepped through the doorway. On a second glance, I recognized him as pop sensation Roy Orbison!

"Hello," he said, bedecked in his familiar black attire and dark sunglasses. "Forgive me, but I am having a problem. It seems my pants button has broken. I have lost my belt and I have no way of keeping my pants up. Can you help me."

Immediately, the three rolls of clingfilm I keep in my backpack at all times sprang to mind.

"I could wrap you in clingfilm," I said to him. "Then, I will go out and find you a belt while you wait here."

"That sounds fine," Roy Orbison said, and I took to the task with fervor.

Just then, two young men wearing harsh-looking clothes sauntered in. One said,

"Hello, what are you doing?"

I said, "I am wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm." Both men nodded and went to the computer terminals near mine. When I was finished, I stood back and admired Roy Orbison.

"You are complely wrapped in clingfilm," I told him, and smiled.

"Fine," Roy Orbison said. "Now, go find my belt."

"Ha-ha," I said. "Not just yet. For now, I will prop you in the corner, and continue to work on my computer program."

I did as such and heard the other two in the room arguing nearby. One turned to the other, pointed to the computer monitor and said, "So what's this program called, Joe?"

The other said, "It's a program called Logo, Billy. That right there is a turtle." The man named Joe pointed to the screen.

Billy said, "That's not turtles!" At this point, I picked up Jetta my terrapin and displayed her for the boys.

"This is, though," I said. Both men smiled at me.

"That's hard-core," said Joe. Later, they left the computer room, saying they still needed a name for their band. The last thing I heard was the man named Billy saying, "Wait, I have it."

Years later, their band came into existence, and they'd named it Hard-Core Logo. Sometimes I bring Jetta the terrapin to their concerts, but they will never be as wonderful as my favorite, Roy Orbison, who sometimes comes by the house for teacakes and vibrant discussions about matters of the day.